Sanity.

Sanity.
Its either you have it or you dont.
Been bottling up for quite some time and it has cause me to finally went insane today.
When was the last time i have this feeling?
It was when i was with my first.
Depression.
Self -inflicting pain.
Pain is the way to go.
I believed that people who dont ever have this before will never understand why i chose to do such a thing.
As for me it is simple, i find that my body is the channel for me... to release the pain.

The pain that no one can ever.. understand.
Some people get angry by the results they are achieving.
Me on the other hand get angry within.
Why am i always a reserve?
Why am i always second best.?
Why am i not always wanted?
Why am i someone who always keep quiet and let the management bully me.
The politics.
It hurts.

Sometimes, you need to really throw away the politics you are facing.
Once, you have to think about the money.
Its sad when people want to compete with you.
Really really sad.
But the competitor is always yourself.

Bitten myself numb today.
It is really painful.
My fingers are still numb prior to me typing this out.
The worst work shift ever.
Im wondering why.
Whats wrong with you Bambam?
Is the world too harsh for you to live in now?
SIGH.